I’m in love with spreadsheets. I’ve got spreadsheets that list all the spreadsheets I need to make. In addition to those, I’ve got spreadsheets for literally every aspect of my life. Work schedule, future plans, savings goals, budgeting…
I’m NOT in love with budgeting. Currently, I have $30 in savings. Whoo! That’s amazing, considering I’ve been breaking even lately. Unfortunately, it’ll probably go toward my bills next month, depending on what my paycheck is like.
As J and I move forward into being adults, we’re finding it necessary to make decisions like where we’re going to live, how much rent we’re willing to pay, if we want a house or an apartment, etc. It’s rough.
Gettin real tired of wearing pants and having responsibilities.
Also, with a baby on the way, I have to actually start looking at buying things like.. cribs. I know absolutely nothing about cribs, except that I don’t want the wooden kind with the rungs on it. That just scares me for little baby hands. I want one of those kinds that you can carry around and are made of mesh! So much more likely to be safe.
Can I level with you? I’m terrified of having a child. The prospect of needing to provide financially for another human being that is completely helpless is so scary. I’m also wary of the constant responsibilities that come with parenting. I am 100% free of commitments and obligations except for the bills at this point in my life. I’ve lived like this since I was 17, and I like it. I’m used to it. And then there’s this:
And I’m like, great. This is gonna be rough. I know I’m supposed to be more enthusiastic, but looking around me at my tiny room that I rent in a condo of my friend’s mother’s, I have a desk, a shelf, and a bed. That’s it. How on earth am I going to pull all of this together so fast? I’ve always had ideals, and I guess I thought that once I DID have a kid, if ever, I’d be prepared. Like, with a completely set up nursery full of kids books and a beautiful crib and changing bed and a closet full of diapers that we’d been buying for years.
Welp, nothing I can do now. #ohwell
This has been Thoughts With Lennon. Thanks for joining.